in the last few weeks, i have thought nightly, in between burying my conscious brain in the sewage of youtube and social media, about my own mortality.
who could have predicted this reckoning? a plague, people are calling it.
i recently started talking to a complete stranger via video and phone. i disclosed to him, how unafraid i feel towards death. that i would rather die doing something meaningful than nothing at all. he was taken aback. he is only a couple years younger than me. "i don't want to die." neither do i (today) (dumbass), but if i were faced with it - well, i should like to think that i have been exposed to it enough to tamp down the insane fear of it. that is: if i were dying for a cause...i would go quite gently into that good night. i have an idea of what that journey entails.
until then, yes, i am terrified. terrified i will do a bad job. that i will harm, instead of help.
a new resolution. to blog something daily. to leave some trace of myself during this time. even if my physical body remains, i suspect this type of fire will leave me and everyone around me changed forever.
i think i would like to continue documenting the bad cases. as well as the good. the outpatient world has been rather mundane, with several notable exceptions. reading my old posts from the inpatient days (what a gift to myself, to have documented some - like a goldfish, i would never have been able to recall any of it), it really does seem like i made the right choice. wasn't cut out for it. and yet, here i am. on the precipice of being called back in to war. and suddenly i wish quite deeply for the mundane again.
some beautiful moments: on march 30, national doctor's day, someone bought ten pizzas for the entire clinic.
every other patient i talk or email to expresses their thanks, gratitude, and empathy for those of us in healthcare. i remind myself, i get the privilege of taking care of some of the most wonderful people in the world. (i also get the dubious honor of taking care of some of the worst people in the world, but never mind this for now)
tomorrow, training begins.
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around the park, after dark
About Me
- Dancer D.O.
- hella NorCal. if you're lookin for a classy broad, go somewhere else.
What is a D.O.?
D.O.s continue the tradition of bringing health care to areas of greatest need:
- Approximately 65% of practicing osteopathic physicians specialize in primary care areas, such as pediatrics, family practice, obstetrics and gynecology, and internal medicine.
- Many D.O.s fill a critical need for physicians by practicing in rural and other medically underserved communities.
D.O.s bring wholeness back to the art of medicine:
- Osteopathic medical schools emphasize training students to be primary care physicians.
- D.O.s practice a "whole person" approach to medicine. Instead of just treating specific symptoms or illnesses, they regard your body as an integrated whole.
- Osteopathic physicians focus on preventive health care.
- D.O.s receive extra training in the musculoskeletal system-your body's interconnected system of nerves, muscles and bones that make up two-thirds of your body mass. This training provides osteopathic physicians with a better understanding of the ways that an illness or injury in one part of your body can affect another.
- Osteopathic manipulative treatment (OMT) is incorporated into the training and practice of osteopathic physicians. With OMT, osteopathic physicians use their hands to diagnose illness and injury and to encourage your body's natural tendency toward good health. By combining all other available medical options with OMT, D.O.s offer their patients the most comprehensive care available in medicine today.
What is Osteopathic Medicine?
Osteopathic medicine is a unique form of American medical care that was started in 1874 by Andrew Taylor Still, M.D., D.O. Dr. Still was dissatisfied with the effectiveness of 19th century medicine. He believed that many of the medications of his day were useless or even harmful. Dr. Still was one of the first in his time to study the attributes of good health so that he could better understand the process of disease.
In response, Dr. Still developed a philosophy of medicine based on ideas that date back to Hippocrates, the father of medicine. That philosophy focuses on the unity of all body parts. Dr. Still identified the musculoskeletal system as a key element of health. He recognized the body's ability to heal itself and stressed preventive medicine, eating properly and keeping fit.
Dr. Still pioneered the concept of "wellness" more than 130 years ago. In today's terms, D.O.s evaluate each patient's personal health risks-such as smoking, high blood pressure, excessive cholesterol levels, stress and other lifestyle factors. In coordination with prescribing appropriate medical treatment, osteopathic physicians act as teachers to help patients take more responsibility for their well-being and to change un-healthy patterns.
In response, Dr. Still developed a philosophy of medicine based on ideas that date back to Hippocrates, the father of medicine. That philosophy focuses on the unity of all body parts. Dr. Still identified the musculoskeletal system as a key element of health. He recognized the body's ability to heal itself and stressed preventive medicine, eating properly and keeping fit.
Dr. Still pioneered the concept of "wellness" more than 130 years ago. In today's terms, D.O.s evaluate each patient's personal health risks-such as smoking, high blood pressure, excessive cholesterol levels, stress and other lifestyle factors. In coordination with prescribing appropriate medical treatment, osteopathic physicians act as teachers to help patients take more responsibility for their well-being and to change un-healthy patterns.
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