summer of love

will update with photos later (as if people are even reading!) but just wanted to make a quick note for myself

this summer has been absolutely amazing
not necessarily fun, per se, but i feel like an entirely different person

taking the trip to india was really really difficult. physically and mentally. we saw so much poverty. so many people in need. and then you realize how fraught india is with corruption and bureaucracy, and you lose all hope for humanity. it was hard to stomach. but in the end we gave medicine to nearly 2000 people in just 5 days. there was joy in every tiny thing: running water. a ceiling fan. children singing. a man riding an elephant down the freeway :)

now, i'm in a women's health externship at sf general/ucsf and, like india, it's been exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. it makes me see first hand how stifled women's voices are not just in terms of healthcare but in society in general. it is hard to stomach. but there is joy in every tiny thing: holding a hand in the operating room. finding a heartbeat on an ultrasound. sharing laughter in the face of desperation.

i'm a million times more motivated to go back to pomona and try to make it through the rest of the infamously hellish 2nd year of medical school. everything i've seen in the past couple months could make anyone completely jaded and bitter. i'm trying so hard not to let it do that. trying to go through every day not with hate towards the evil in people, but with love for what we can hopefully be.